As I stare out my bedroom window, feeling bad about myself, my gaze is drawn to the trees still in hibernation. It is late winter and I can feel the anticipation of spring’s grand unfolding. The trees are still naked and I find myself deeply envious of how they can stand there fully exposed, not needing their flowers and leaves to validate their existence. The sun is shining fully upon their branches with the light revealing every knot, nuance and crooked limb yet they do not cower in their full exposure. Instead, they stand beautiful and tall letting the light reveal their true magnificence.
I look in the mirror and I see myself still in my pj’s with mascara smudged on my face. Having had my own external validations stripped away, I realize I am also naked but feeling frightened, sad and lonely; quite the contrast from the confident, magnificent species standing outside my window. In admiration of the trees before me, I take a seat by the sun lit window letting the light fully expose my own nuances and insecurities. A quote (or paraphrase) suddenly pops into my consciousness from a movie I had watched a few nights earlier. Not from Thoreau or Muir but a drama teacher from the cheesy 2009 remake of the movie Fame. He says to his student “What you are ashamed of and trying to keep secret is who you are. Within it lies your greatest power.”
I feel the resistance and lack of acceptance begin to soften. The winter landscape reveals an ultimate truth that authenticity, power and confidence lies within my own skin and that I do not need the world to validate my existence, nor do I need anything extra to be magnificent. I recognize that my nuances, knots and crooked limbs make for a unique and most powerful center from which great beauty can spring forward. It becomes clear that the expanded offering of our fruits, brought forth from this great inner power, is done so for life itself! Nature doesn’t bloom to impress others… it blooms so that she can live.
I breathe deeply and freedom washes over me as I realize I have nothing to prove. I am once again grateful for my life, my body and my sometimes craziness, but most of all for winter’s last call of awakening.
Cindy is first and foremost a student passionate about the healing arts and practical spirituality. She is a yoga teacher, energy healer and owner of Sacred Garden Yoga in Marietta, GA. Her yoga classes are inspiring, intuitive and often challenging so to empower others to recognize their true potential. Her spiritual practice is life itself and when not teaching she’s enjoying her family, salsa dancing and being a mom. She also volunteers her time with the women’s and children’s ministry at Unity of Kennesaw
Beautiful truth, I miss your daily insights!
You are beautiful inside and out. Once I told Ma all I see is my darkness and she told me I wouldn’t see my darkness unless I was full of light.