Have you ever wondered what your personal operating system runs on? For many years, my ‘normal state’ was anxiety and stress. While growing up, watching my family function in a similar manner exacerbated this, so for many years, I didn’t know that I even had the option to possibly BE any different. Ancient yoga teachings tell us that we are born with the same breath pattern as our mother. If she was stressed, anxious or worried, it means that we are born with a similar predisposition. For me personally, it also meant that for many years, I would perpetuate a vicious stressful cycle. Life was unnecessarily difficult and hectic for me.
If we’re in a constant state of stress, our body will release the appropriate adrenalin and the cortisol to deal with it. But if this is happening on a regular basis, our adrenals weaken. We become familiar with a sensation of being tired – but wired. Our ability to handle stressful situations deteriorates. A molehill becomes a mountain, our thinking becomes cloudy, our ability to make clear and concise decisions diminishes. This then impacts the rest of our well-being. A vicious cycle is then created. Prolonged stress leads to feeling ungrounded which leads to instability, which affects your health & vitality, which then impacts your energy levels and work opportunities and stops the flow of abundance and connection.
Does it sound intense? It is.
I discovered that I was very disconnected from my heart as my feelings were always accompanied with a sense of stress, worry, or anxiety. So I avoided any kind of feeling.
Unfortunately, I also disconnected with the part of my essence that was centred, balanced, forgiving and compassionate. It was hard to find peace with myself much less in my interactions with others.
My life changed when I decided that I wanted to make LOVE my ‘normal state’. In fact, at the beginning of this year, much like my MacBook Pro, my soul decided I needed a system upgrade, so I changed it to a state of ‘being in love’. Not necessarily just with my partner. But with me. With my soul. With my work. With my life. With my dog. With the interactions that I have with my family, friends, colleagues and clients. I wanted to be in love with my life, so that in moments when I felt challenged. I could simply stop, re assess, and take the time to respond with love – as opposed to reacting from a state of fear or stress.
Does this mean that I never experience feeling stressed?
No. I still get stressed. The difference is, I don’t remain stressed for days, weeks or months at a time. Changing my normal operating system does not give me a get out of jail free card. In fact, I now treat uncomfortable feelings like stress, anger, sadness, irritation or sadness as guests. When they do come to visit, I decide whether or not I want them to stay for longer than a few hours in a day.
Often, they come to visit me in order to give me a nudge and tell me that I may have come out of alignment. I now acknowledge the little irrits along the way so that I don’t explode with anger about something as mundane as my partner leaving the bread knife on the bench.
Feeling stressed, uncomfortable or unhappy is no longer considered ‘normal’ by my cellular memory, so when those sensations come along, I pay attention to the messages that they bring. If I take the time to listen, and then do something about it, it’s usually something along the lines of:
That teaching gig means that Monday will no longer be your admin day, do you really want to take it? OR
You were up until 1am finishing that e-course. Is the world really gonna end if you reschedule brunch and have a sleep in instead? OR
You’re helping your buddy move on your only day off. Wouldn’t it be better to be clear with how much time you can really spare?
In Chinese Medicine – the heart meridian is known as the King of the organs. It’s known to command the organs, house the spirit and control the emotions. In Chinese, the word for ‘heart’ (hsin) is also used to denote ‘mind’ (when the heart is strong and steady, so are the emotions; when its weak and wavering, the emotions rebel and prey upon the heart-mind connection).
As it happens the heart chakra is connected to our thymus gland which in turn regulates our immune system. It’s no coincidence that I no longer get sick like I used to. Is it any wonder that I functioned so badly during my adrenalin fueled years? What about you? Does your normal operating system need a boost as well?
Patty Kikos is a respected healer, coach & yoga teacher that lectures on teacher trainings around Australia. She is well known for her lighthearted approach to life, and for the powerful results her clients receive through 1:1 balance sessions. Patty runs popular workshops & chakra balance courses that are also available online as 40 day e-courses. Her past lives include working as a social worker & a dancer, and her current life also includes her thriving business as a marriage celebrant. You can visit her home at pattykikos.com or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram